At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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