Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
