ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
