i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
