I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
