brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
