Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
