I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize