And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
