she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's shark week go big or go home
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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