And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize