those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
COCAINE IS GR8
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
