I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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