so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
