I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize