I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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