so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
