he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
