Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
