smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
