I wannas sexs uuuuu
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
be right there i have to get my cape
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
