You can't motorboat a personality
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
