Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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