I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize