I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
