and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
