Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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