Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
