She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
