Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
third nipple confirmed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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