i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
