the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm having to shit out rocks
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