If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
