Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
