i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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