Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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