did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
