Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
