Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
