this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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