Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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