you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
