Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
