I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
