So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
