I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
