Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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