Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
