I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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