Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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