would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
