i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
