$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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