it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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