No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
