so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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