Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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