A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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