Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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