I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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