Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My breasts were aching with rage.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
