I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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