We won't sleep together?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
