Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
