"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize